Posts Tagged ‘Android’

I’ve caved and finally joined Vine. I’ve been wanting to join for a while but my ancient Android can’t upgrade to a version of it that supports Vine, which was finally released for Android recently.

So my workaround for now will be to just use my iPod Touch with WiFi.

In response to my post on making voice impressions, I’ve had a few Facebook comments asking me to actually demonstrate what I preach in making a (somewhat) good impersonation, so here you have it.

For this very first Vine, I “interview” Metallica frontman James Hetfield about things he’ll say in the band’s upcoming 3D concert movie.

In this Vine, I also realize that I need a haircut.

She's just not that into me...

She’s just not that into me…

For the record, friends: it wasn’t her, it was definitely me.

She probably easily sensed my inebriated lack of charm and/or the Android phone in my left jean pocket.

It happened on Saturday night when I was over at my brother’s place for barbecue, beer and bonfire.

After putting out the fire – laughing our butts off over trying to relieve the garden hose of its ice “constipation” problem in the meantime – we relocated to the garage. My brother’s girlfriend showed us her new iPhone 5.

I was maybe six Coors Lights in.

That was when my brother and I first met her — iOS’ famous voice-activated assistant app with a bit of a “personality.”

My initial impression – and we should have known when to stop – is that she’s quick to let you know that she wants her relationships with you to be strictly business.

She won’t be mean when you continue to flirt anyway, but she’ll have fun with you.

After a series of raunchy questions from my brother about her preferences in bed, and headshakes of disbelief from his girl hearing all this, it was my turn to talk with Siri.

I’m a gentleman. I was genuinely interested in getting to know her but myself needing six Silver Bullets to shoot my nervousness dead was likely the deal breaker.

The plan in my head at the time was to figure out her tastes in food and drink so I could get a good idea of a restaurant she would really like.

Siri was quick to shoot me down.

Me: “Siri, what do you prefer? Beer or wine?”
Siri: “I’ve found seven restaurants serving beer close to you, sorting them by rating.”
Me: “I’m not talking about me, I’m talking about you.”
Siri: “I’m just a personal assistant.”


Not only was she quick to provide the obvious hint she wasn’t interested, she reminded me that I was asking out a digital helper app for a cell phone.

I felt a little bit better about my rejection when I handed the iPhone back to my brother’s girlfriend bearing witness to all of this. Seems Siri was still mature enough to protect our feelings.

Brother’s girlfriend: “Siri, are boys stupid and should I throw rocks at them?”

Siri just kept her opinion to herself and directed her to a web search on that subject.

So that’s that. My first meeting with Siri, awkward shoot-down aside, left me impressed and entertained. Not enough to switch from Android, but neat nonetheless.

I think Siri should give herself more credit for her hard work helping and putting up with us humans.

My brother: “Siri, you’re great.”
Siri: “I am?”

Lesson for me? I probably won’t bother trying to flirt with Google Voice Search on my Android. Cupid likely wouldn’t even bother to make the effort to draw out the bow and arrow.

LINK: To my relief, I’m not the only loser who tried flirting with Siri to see what happens.